QARABAĞDAN GƏLƏN ZƏNG – mütləq oxuyun!!!

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Yuxunun şirin yerində telefonun zənginə oyandım. Əslində adətim deyil telefonun səsini açıq qoyub yatmaq, amma bu dəfə necə olub, bilmədim.
Telefonun zəngi durmadan çalır. Çox sevdiyim “Qarabağ Şikəstəsi”ni də kim qoyubsa zəngin səsinə, heç xəbərim yoxdu.
Əsəbi halda yataqdan durub komodun üstündən telefonu götürüb ekrana baxdım ki, +374xxxxxxx nömrəsindən zəng gəlir və android telefonun ekranında “Ermenistan” yazılıb.
İlahi, Ermənistandan kimdi mənə zəng edən? Bir an yuxu olduğunu düşündüm, lakin telefonun əlimdə titrəşimlə qarışıq “özünü öldürməsi” yuxu olmadığını göstərirdi.
Tez yataq otağından çıxıb “televizor otağı”na keçdim. Əllərim və ayaqlarım buza dönmüşdü. Əlimi pəncərənin önündəki isidiciyə toxundurdum. Od kimi idi, amma tir-tir əsirdim.
“Yox, götürmə” deyə içimdə özümə göstəriş versəm də telefon susmaq bilmirdi ki, bilmirdi.
Ay Allah, indi DTX evimizi basacaq, məni tutub aparacaqlar ki, kimdi Ermənistandan sənə zəng edən? Nə cavab verəcəm? Bir neçə gündür Qarabağla bağlı tənqidi statuslar da yazıram. Gəl indi izah elə ki, tənqid idi, ironiya ilə yazmışdım. Atam, anam, uşaqlar…
Düşündükcə ağlımı itirəcək həddə çatmışdım ki, bir də gördüm telefondan qadın səsi gəlir. Yəqin həyəcandan əlim “yes”ə dəyib. Qarşıdan gələn “alo, alo, eşidirsinizmi” səsini eşidəndə dedim yəqin Gürcüstandan və ya Türkiyədən zəng edirlər, nömrə səhv düşüb. Bəzən olur axı belə hallar.
Özümü belə təsəlli edərək telefonu qulağıma yaxınlaşdırdım və:
– Alo, eşidirəm. Kim idi?
– Şair, nömrəni internetdən tapmışam . Sizi daim gizlincə izləyirəm.
Bir az səs tonumu yüksəltdim:
– Kimsiniz ki? Bu saatda niyə zəng etmisiniz? Bu nə nömrədi? Nə istəyirsiniz?
– Qardaş, mən sənin statuslarında vətənpərvərlik ruhunu, vətən sancısını gördüyüm üçün zəng eləmişəm. Mən sənə Qarabağdan zəng edirəm.
– Nə? Məzələrsiniz mənlə? Nə Qarabağ? Orda bizimkilər yaşamır axı. Xahiş edirəm bir də mənə zəng etməyin.
– Qardaş, vallah zarafat eləmirəm. Mən 25 il əvvəl əsir düşəndə 10 yaşımda idim. İndi 35 yaşım var. Atamı, anamı, qardaşımı öldürüb məni əsir götürdülər. 25 ildi başıma nə oyun gətirdilər, bir Allah bilir. Bu 25 ildə, bəlkə 250 dəfə özümü öldürməyi düşünmüşəm, amma doğmalarımın qisasının alındığını gözümlə görmək üçün dözmüşəm. Bir an olsun vətəndən ümidimi kəsməmişəm.
Burda, köhnə məscidi donuz ferması ediblər, oranın təmizlədirlər mənə. Bir küncü təmizləyib gizlincə nənəmin öyrətdiyi namazı da qılıram. Bəlkə, düz qılmıram, amma Allah bağışlayar yəqin.
Qardaş, erməninin biri telefonunu itirmişdi. Mən tapmışam. Bir neçə aydı onunla internetə zada girirəm. Həmin erməninin adı ilə Azərbaycandakı insanların profilinə baxıram. Düzdü başda çətin olurdu, amma artıq alışdım, qardaş.
Bəlkə, qardaş deməm xoşuna gəlmir, amma Azərbaycan oğullarının hamısı mənim qardaşımdır. Bax, qardaş. Nələr yaşadıqlarımı danışsam təsəvvür belə edə bilməzsən və bəlkə də indi deyirsən “Allah eləməsin bacım olasan”, amma mən sənin bacınam. Bizim millətdə var axı “peysər” zad söhbəti.
Donub qalmışdım. Nə deyəcəyimi bilmirdim. Bir gözüm də qapıda qalmışdı ki, indi qapını qırıb girəcəklər və məni aparacaqlar, amma dəstəyi asa bilmirdim.
– Qardaş, eşidirsən məni?
– Bəli, bəli. Buyurun.
– Ohh. Elə bildim adboy vermisən. Qardaş, internetdən görürəm ki, hamınız kefdə-damaqdasınız, yeməyinizdə, içməyinizdə, əylənməyinizdəsiniz. Hər bayram da öz yerində.
25 ildi gözlədiyim üçün çox peşmanam. Bayaq donuzların yemini saxladığımız anbardakı siçanları öldürmək üçün verdikləri dərmanlardan inəklərdən sağdığım südə qatdım və ermənilərə verdim. Özüm də bir stəkan götürmüşəm. Səninlə danışa-danışa içirəm az-az. Gedirəm doğmalarımın yanına. Sizin 25 ildir edə bilmədiyinizi 3-5 dığaya zəhər verərək mən etməyə çalışdım.
Mən sonuncuyam, qardaş. Daha burda qız-gəlininiz qalmayıb. Bu 25 ildə hamısı ya öldürüldü, ya özləri özlərini öldürdü. Artıq sinəninizi gərib rahatca gəzə bilərsiniz. Artıq millətim hər gün bayram edib əylənə bilər. Artıq burda namusunuz yoxdu. Çox sağ ol qardaş. Çox sağ olun…
Birdən səs kəsildi. Elə bil məni ildırım vurdu. Qəflət quxusundan oyanmış kimi telefonu ağzıma tutub “bacı, ay bacı, ay bacı” deyə nə qədər qışqırsam da səs verən olmadı.
Artıq qapını qırıb içəri girib məni aparacaqları vecimə də deyildi. Artıq həyatıma nifrət edirdim, artıq gözümə heç nə görünmürdü.
– Bacı, ay bacı. Qurban olum cavab ver. Nəsə de, susma. Ay bacı…
Elə bu vaxt otağımın qapısı tarappıltı ilə açıldı. Qapının açılmasına yuxudan oyandım ki, atamdı.
– Nə olub, ay oğul? Niyə “bacı, bacı” deyib qışqırırsan?
– Heç nə, ata, yuxu görürdüm. Get yat.
Atam otaqdan çıxandan sonra telefonuma baxdım. Gəlib-gedən zəngləri kontrol elədim. Gizli nömrədən düz 6 dəfə zəng gəlib, lakin telefon səssizdə olduğu üçün eşitməmişəm. Yəqin ya Gürcüstandan, ya da Türkiyədən zəng gəlib deyə eşitməmişəm.
Yoxsa…
Yatağıma girib səhərə kimi yerimdə eşələndim. Bütün bunların yuxu olduğuna nə sevinə bilirdim, nə üzülə.

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77 thoughts on “QARABAĞDAN GƏLƏN ZƏNG – mütləq oxuyun!!!

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